I’ve heard this phase/saying so many times before and I usually do not think much of it. I mean I understood what that phrase means and I can see it in some people who are with shitty boyfriends but thats it. I never really go into it or think to much of it, but tonight I can’t seem to get it outta my head. It may be because its a very slow sunday or maybe because Ive been at home all day wanting to do something and have someones company but nothing happened.I’ve been thinking….maybe too much, but I think this phrase might just describe me. It makes me a little sad that after much thought I now see that thats all me. I started looking back at all the relationships I’ve have and the assholes Ive dated, and the sacrifices Ive made, and the lies I’ve put up with so that I can feel loved by someone. Jesus christ. This makes me feel like shit because I usually look at others and think they deserve better but Ive never looked at who I was with and what I was going through for “love”. I don’t even think I know what love means. Its funny because there were people who would tell me your not in love, your just comfortable and are scared and now I realized that they might of been right. It wasn’t the love I was afraid of loosing it was the routine of it all that I would miss. The fact that I was used to having someone there and having someone I could call my own, in a way, or maybe the fact that for a minute I had a person who I thought meant the world to me. As depressing as this post sounds, Im actually not sad, or depressed. No, Im actually quite glad that I am able to realize what I have been doing wrong for awhile now.

Thank you tumblr,facebook, and instagram for making me feel like poop cause no one is giving//making me cute shit today. Even my mom got a shitload of flowers and she called just to tell me got some -___-‘

I’m just gonna go home and make myself some cupcakes and a cute card lol

I HAVE SO MANY AWESOME IDEAS!

AND I WOULDNT EVEN ASK FOR SHIT IN RETURN….WELL MAYBE JUST A LIE IF MY STUFF ISN’T THAT GREAT HAHAHA

OH WELL. ILL JUST MAKE MYSELF SOME CUPCAKES!

THIS SHIT IS BECOMING TOO MUCH.

Jesus christ. It makes me so angry to see him go through stupid ass bullshit every other day over the same fucking shit. I hate that he is easily moved by what they tell him about him. I just wish he could see that he really doesn;t need to put up with it at all. All it does is bring the worse outta him. I understand that its family and we;re taught that you have to help you parents out, but thats only the case when they actually deserve it. And family doesnt always have to be by blood. He is such an amazing person but its all going to waste because of the same shit that happens every time.  I just wish I knew what to do or say to make him realize that there are better people out there who actuallly care about him and actually want him to succeed in life rather then watch him go down. I would think by now he would of realize that helping out his parent is not gonna change her perspective on him. I dont know man, I just dont want anything to happen because they push him time and time again. same shit, different day. I dont wnat him say fuck it one day and do something hes gonna regret but at the rate this shit is going I dk.  They do not deserve to have him in theeir life at all.

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Also my room is cozy as fuck.